


it's not living (if it's not with you)

by dashirun



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Amusement Parks, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Jeon Wonwoo & Kim Mingyu Friendship, M/M, Mild Language, Minor Kim Mingyu/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 10:06:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17486132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dashirun/pseuds/dashirun
Summary: “I would not do anything for someone I’ve been on three, yes three, dates with,” Wonwoo had insisted at the time.“Yeah, bet,” Mingyu had scoffed, the full weight of him burrowing into Wonwoo’s side as they sat on the couch. “You absolutely would. You’re whipped. And I bet it only took five minutes, too.”In which Wonwoo's head over heels, Soonyoung's constantly testing his patience, and Mingyu is always, ALWAYS, infuriatingly correct.





	it's not living (if it's not with you)

**Author's Note:**

> consider these songs to accompany your reading
> 
> The 1975 - it's not living (if it's not with you)  
> WJSN - La La Love  
> Panama Wedding - A Brand New Life

“No.”

“Yes.”

“NO.”

“Yes?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Definitely maybe.”

Wonwoo sighed into the speaker, letting his hand rest against his brow. His palm felt cool against his skin, a small comfort to the rising heat in his head. Soonyoung always had this effect on him, always found a way to raise his blood pressure early in the day. You see, Wonwoo acknowledged that his boyfriend was a bright presence in his life, a spark of energy and warmth and light like a personal sunbeam. However, Wonwoo also knew for a fact that when Soonyoung called him, voice shrill with excitement and rushing out a request for a new adventure, that he would be left feeling wired.

“What am I going to do with you,” Wonwoo said, but it came out as a whisper half lost in the static of their poor connection and Soonyoung’s cheery voice cut through it easily.

“You’ll love it, Wonwoo,” he insisted for the tenth time in their ten minute conversation. Wonwoo resisted the urge to sigh again.

“Why would we go to an amusement park in the middle of January?” Wonwoo asked. “It’s cold, it’s windy, and-“

“No, you don’t understand,” Soonyoung interrupted. Wonwoo could feel the way Soonyoung’s hands were undoubtedly waving his concerns away despite them not being able to see each other. “We have to go this weekend. They’re releasing a new roller coaster and I’ve been waiting years, LITERAL YEARS, Wonwoo-“

“Soonyoung,” Wonwoo laid his words out carefully. “I hate rollercoasters.”

It was Soonyoung’s turn to sigh now, and he did so with a vigor verging on showiness. “I understand Wonwoo, but this one is _different._ ”

Wonwoo breathed in carefully, tried to stop his words from flowing out clumsily in the face of Soonyoung’s enthusiasm. He breathed again, then asked, “Why is this one different?”

“This one,” Soonyoung began. “Is magic.”

“Magic,” Wonwoo deadpanned back. 

“ _Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious_ ,” Soonyoung said with finality. Wonwoo placed his hand on his forehead once more.

“What,” he began. “Is that supposed to mean in this context, Soonyoung?”

“It’s the rollercoaster!” Soonyoung’s voice had edged back up into an excited shriek that had Wonwoo reeling. 

“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is the rollercoaster,” Wonwoo repeated.

“It’s a Mary Poppins theme park experience,” Soonyoung continued in the same excited tone. “The whole thing starts in the Banks home, it has all this movie decor, you wind around some umbrellas, open up onto the roof, it even has two huge loops-“

“Nope,” Wonwoo interrupted. “Nuh-uh, stopping right there. No loops. One loop is already one too many. I’m not going.”

Soonyoung protested immediately, his shrillness returning in earnest. It was a bit like picturing a toy train exiting his mouth, a high pitched, steam powered whine that knocked against Wonwoo’s ear drums. “It’ll be over quick,” he began. “I’ll hold your hand and everything, you can even close your eyes-“

“Soonyoung,” it was Wonwoo’s turn to whine now. 

“Wonwoo, you’ll love it, I _promise_ ,” Soonyoung said. “Can’t you do this one, teeny-tiny-super-easy thing for me? Please?”

“There are many things I would do for you, Kwon Soonyoung, but getting on a metal death trap is not one of those things.” 

But Soonyoung was not one to take no as an answer, not when it was something he really wanted to try. He circled back to the start, carefully enunciating each syllable of the ride’s name, explaining in further detail the intricately designed sets and grand opening festivities. Wonwoo felt a pulsing in his temple, his trusted vein starting to fill with blood as Soonyoung continued, yet somehow he was still on the phone, still ignoring the voice in the back of his head calling Soonyoung’s blabbering - dare he even think it - endearing.

Somewhere past the sound of Soonyoung’s imploring, Wonwoo heard the front door shut and the unmistakeable sound of his part-time best friend and full-time roommate coming home. Wonwoo bit back a curse, knowing instantaneously that Mingyu would hear Soonyoung’s voice on the phone, recognize the strained look on Wonwoo’s face, and shoot him one of his knowing grins. Mingyu’s conversations with Wonwoo nearly always followed the rule of two T’s - teasing and torturous - and their talks surrounding Wonwoo’s relationship with Soonyoung were no exception. 

Wonwoo could hear the thud of Mingyu’s boots hitting the ground in the short hall around the bend of their kitchenette, followed by the shuffling of feet. Mingyu’s hair appeared first, dark and curled slightly from the light rain outside, and the rest of him followed. Right on cue, Soonyoung’s voice blared through his phone speaker again and there it was - that dumb smile of Mingyu’s, all white teeth and mischievous eyes. He stifled a laugh as he tossed his jacket towards the couch. Black leather, damp and cold, clipped Wonwoo’s face as it went sailing past him and Mingyu flopped down after it, sticking his head onto Wonwoo’s shoulder so he could hear more of Soonyoung’s pleading.

“Wonwoo, are you listening to me?” Soonyoung said, annoyance coloring his voice.

“Ye - _ow_ \- yes, I’m sorry, I’m here. My pet goblin came home and decided to maim me,” Wonwoo replied as Mingyu’s elbow dug into his side. Mingyu just laughed, pulling away only slightly. 

“Send Mingyu my love,” Soonyoung said before launching back into his case for the coaster. “Anyway, as I was saying, I would greatly appreciate it if you graced me with your presence this evening at approximately 5 p.m. This is my final request, and I am now hanging up to give you ten minutes, and ten minutes only, to make your decision.”

“Soonyoung, please,” Wonwoo began.

“Nope, I’ll call you in ten, goodbye, I love you!” Soonyoung rushed. The call ended before Wonwoo could protest. He huffed out a shocked breath, tossing his phone to the side as Mingyu curled up closer to him again.

“It’s the sheer audacity of it, you know?” Wonwoo blurted out. Mingyu’s head had lolled down to Wonwoo’s lap now and he looked up at him through the feather-curled bangs splayed across his eyes.

“What’s he done now?” He asked, amusement clearly catching in the ridges of his throat as he tried to maintain a serious face for Wonwoo’s sake. Of course, Mingyu only had about 30 seconds of that calm understanding in him on a good day, so Wonwoo tried to act fast.

“He wants me to go on this new roller coaster with him,” Wonwoo answered. “You _know_ I hate coasters. Hell, _he_ knows I hate coasters, I don’t know why he’s insisting on this, it’s honestly not like him to expect me to do something that -“

“Maybe it’s important to him,” Mingyu interrupted. 

“It’s a _roller coaster_ ,” Wonwoo whined in response. Mingyu threw his hands up in surrender, fingers smacking against Wonwoo’s chest. He rubbed at the spot absently as Mingyu sat back up. He was smiling fully now, but he seemed keen to reason through Wonwoo’s dilemma regardless.

“Soonyoung’s priorities operate in mysterious ways,” he said. “And besides, I actually did _not_ know you hated roller coasters this much. In fact, I don’t think we’ve ever talked about roller coasters at all.”

Wonwoo sat up straighter, lips pursed and eyes boring into Mingyu’s own. “You know for a fact that I hate heights, speed, and small, inescapable places. And Soonyoung, this sweet, giddy, well-meaning but deluded boy, wants to put me on a metal death trap which moves both very quickly and very high up in the air. And it’s _January_.”

“It’s an indoor coaster,” Mingyu dismissed his concerns with a wave of his hand. Wonwoo squinted at him then, his so-called best friend and his sly face, nose and cheeks still slightly reddened from the biting winter air.

“How do you know that?” Wonwoo asked. “And where are you coming from, anyway? You didn’t have class today.”

“I, too, operate in mysterious ways,” he said, waving his other hand in Wonwoo’s face. “I was on a coffee date.”

“Bullshit, you hate coffee dates.”

“And you hate roller coasters, but you’re still going to go on this coaster date with Soonyoung.”

“THAT’S,” Wonwoo began. “Where you’re dead wrong. I will do no such thing. I will wait for Soonyoung to call me back, and I will hear him out, and I will politely turn him down.”

“Sure,” Mingyu said, but he crossed his arms and looked at Wonwoo in that disbelieving way he had adopted ever since Soonyoung entered their lives.

“I mean it this time,” Wonwoo said. 

“Dude,” Mingyu placed his hand on Wonwoo’s shoulder, clutching harder when he tried to shake it off. “Listen to me. I knew it the moment you walked back into the apartment after your first date -“

“That was not even a date, it was just a simple coffee between acquaintances,” Wonwoo interrupted.

“Case in point, you know exactly which not-date moment I’m referring to, which means it most definitely was a date. Anyway, what did I say to you the minute you walked in here?”

“Something ludicrous. Something dumb, and totally not true, as is typical of you,” Wonwoo grumbled.

“No,” Mingyu said, grin sneaking onto his face as he entered further into Wonwoo’s personal space. “I said you looked like you would do anything for that man. And I was right!”

“Case in point,” Wonwoo echoed. “What you actually said was that I looked like I was ‘ready to risk it all’, whatever that means, and you most certainly were not right. I do not do everything he asks. In fact, last week he asked me to get him a pumpkin spice latte at Gribaldi’s and I said if he ever asked me to do such a thing in as fine an establishment as that again, I would leave him and I would make it so that every barista in the city would serve him only watered down Americanos no matter what he ordered.”

“What? Jesus fuck Wonwoo, it’s just a coffee shop, let the poor boy drink what he wants.”

“Don’t insult me.”

“Don’t _distract_ me,” Mingyu countered. “What I mean is, when it really means something to Soonyoung, you’ll find it in your heart to make it happen.”

Wonwoo felt stumped then, and Mingyu appeared to notice it, because his face shifted into a softer smile, something comforting and knowing. Wonwoo reached for something desperately, recalling the chill that often crept up his spine right before he reached some great height or whenever he was in a car with Vernon and they hit an open patch of road for him to speed down - ignoring Wonwoo’s tight grip on any surface within his reach, skin blanching from the effort of not passing out. “But he wouldn’t want me to suffer so much over a roller coaster.” 

Mingyu only groaned then, head rolling back in exasperation. “Well, like I said. He only really gets like this when it’s important to him and you never say no when it is. What’d he give you, ten minutes to get it together?”

“How did you -"

“If my excellent time management skills are anything to go by, you have 5 minutes left to prepare yourself.”

“Well, since your time management skills are shit, I probably only have 30 seconds. And since you’re already wrong about the time, you’re wrong about my answer too! It’s a no from me.”

“You know what,” Mingyu sighed. “You need the list.”

“What? No, I don’t need the God damn list.”

“You need it. Go get the list. Pull it out.”

“Mingyu, I can assure you the list is not going to force me onto a roller coaster.”

“Wonwoo, get the fucking list,” Mingyu replied, shoving Wonwoo around until he was facing his room. Mingyu gave him a final push so that he fell knees-first onto the rug. Wonwoo stood up in a huff, sure by the way the blood was rushing to his head that his face was bright red.

“You know what? Fine. Fine, we’ll bring in the list if that’ll get both of you off my back,” Wonwoo said, hurrying into his room then. He strode in, Mingyu trailing in behind him, and made straight for his closet to fish out his spring coat from its designated spot. His hand made contact with denim and corduroy, the fabric cool from its time spent hiding in the back of his closet. He pulled the coat of its hook, turned and plopped it down on his bed. He smoothed out the fabric so that the navy and maroon patchwork spilled out in sharp contrast with his sunny yellow sheets. With a defiant look at Mingyu, he stuck his hand into the fabric, searching for the familiar presence of folded paper, slightly worn now from age.

Finally, Wonwoo pulled out the sheet of paper he kept stuck in the inner pocket of his coat, unfolding it and smoothing out the creases that cut through the smudged ink. The words stared back at him with sharply angled lines, scratched on furiously and with some great purpose. Looking back, it was almost ridiculous to consider his intent. But then Wonwoo was looking up at Mingyu and that same mix of pride and abject horror in the face of his friend’s cumbersome gaze found its way from that stubborn spot in Wonwoo’s ribcage up to the space in his throat just below the base of his tongue.

The list had been a product of giddy infatuation, a sort of heady drunkenness Wonwoo only felt when enveloped in the aroma of coffee shops on rainy afternoons or when he lost himself in a particularly indelible smile. Thus, meeting Soonyoung in his favorite café on a rain-soaked Thursday in late spring had been a recipe for disaster for Wonwoo’s heart from the start. He had walked home from that initial run in with stars circling his head, blowing up a storm in his mind. They met thrice after that, for what Wonwoo would have cautiously labeled casual, non-date get-togethers, and what Soonyoung jumped headlong into as the beginning of his courtship. He had a way of burrowing his way into Wonwoo’s heart from the beginning - and Wonwoo wore his expanding heart on his sleeve with increasing disregard for who saw it. Quick as it was, when Mingyu had first learned of Wonwoo’s little crush, he had stared at his best friend in amusement and declared (quite smugly) that Wonwoo would do most anything for Soonyoung. Naturally, Wonwoo had protested, and so the list was born.

“I would not do _anything_ for someone I’ve been on three, yes _three_ , dates with,” Wonwoo had insisted at the time.

“Yeah, bet,” Mingyu had scoffed, the full weight of him burrowing into Wonwoo’s side as they sat on the couch. “You absolutely would. You’re whipped. And I bet it only took five minutes, too.”

Wonwoo had felt a pout forming on his lips and twisted it into a grimace, glaring menacingly at his friend. “I would do maybe four things for Kwon Soonyoung. Maybe five in a pinch, and you know what? I’m gonna tell you exactly what those things are so you can just quit looking at me like you know some big fucking secret Kim Mingyu.”

“Fine,” Mingyu had said curtly, but with the same mischievous glint in his eye. He stooped to the ground where his backpack lay forgotten with the homework they were dutifully ignoring, pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper from the abyss of the inner pocket. He had smoothed the paper out and handed it to Wonwoo. “Write it down then, if you’re so sure.”

Wonwoo had stared at the paper on his lap as Mingyu thrusted a pen into his open hand. He had run his thumb over the rubber grip, ignoring the feeling of dust and crumbs of lunches past clinging to it as he stared at the blank sheet. “Fine,” Wonwoo had grumbled. “If it’ll wipe that stupid grin off your face.”

Wonwoo held onto the list. The list was law. The list was order.

✥

There are six (6) things Wonwoo would do for Kwon Soonyoung.

  1. _Watch a scary movie [cons: nightmares, pros: cuddling, probably]_
  2. _Attend a wedding as his plus one_
  3. _Break a minor law_



“What kind of law?” Mingyu had interrupted Wonwoo’s scribbling, peering over his hand to scrutinize the list. 

“I don’t know, a minor one,” Wonwoo had replied. “It doesn’t matter.”

“I feel like it might matter when the cops show up, but alright,” Mingyu had mumbled. Wonwoo had flicked his forehead, lightly, but his expression had Mingyu pulling back fast regardless.

“Anyway,” Wonwoo had continued.

     4.

“Dude, what if he asks you to kick a dog?” Mingyu had asked.

“What the fuck,” Wonwoo had said. “Why would he ask me to kick a fucking dog?”

“I don’t know his motives, man, it’s just a question.”

“I’d sooner let him die,” Wonwoo had answered. Mingyu had nodded in agreement. “I would never kick a dog. Like no offense, you’re my best bud, but if you were about to be shot and a dog was about to be kicked at the same time, I’d let you take the bullet.”

“You know, you could’ve just left it at ‘I’d sooner let him die’,” Mingyu had said.

“Like you wouldn’t do the same.”

“Some things are better left unsaid.”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Wonwoo had continued.

4. _Take dance lessons_ (he had ignored Mingyu’s guffaw as he wrote this down - Soonyoung loved a good partner dance and Wonwoo wasn’t one to deny him the simple joys of life).

    5. _Attend a professional magic show_ (he’d added this one a month in, after Soonyoung had come over and insisted on the two of them going to see his friend Joshua performing for the first time at The Meridian Club. Wonwoo still held his own personal vendetta against Josh for it, especially since the boy had somehow managed to rope Mingyu into attending his shows regularly).

    6. _Take a trip involving planes_ (Again - speed? Heights? The improbability of escape? But Soonyoung had taken his hand the whole way and when they stepped out of their cab and into the valley of stone buildings in Brasov, a castle looming over them both in the distance, he had forgotten all about his fear). 

Wonwoo had held onto the list, pulling it out whenever Soonyoung asked him to do something unfamiliar, adventurous, or simply intimidating. He would stare at this list, at the things they’d done thus far, and Mingyu would creep up over his shoulder and stare with him, until at some point they would both look at each other and Mingyu would say - ‘ _Well… you’ve done worse.’_

✥

“It’s not really the worst thing, is it?” Mingyu said. Wonwoo had the list clasped in his hands, his eyes scanning over the words now scribbled on the bottom in shiny, new ink and Mingyu’s familiar scrawl.

   7. _Ride a roller coaster_

“You’ve commandeered my list?” Wonwoo asked in confusion.

“It had to be done,” Mingyu replied sagely.

“ _Why_?” Wonwoo asked. “Why all this about a roller coaster? Is this a set up? Am I being Cyrano’d? You know we’re already dating, right? You don’t have to set us up on a date.”

Mingyu shrugged his shoulders. “Look, Soonyoung didn’t explain anything to me, he just said that he needed to see you tonight, at this coaster, no excuses.”

“And you just sold me out,” Wonwoo said, flopping down on his bed, letting his legs flail wildly in the air as he did. “Your own best friend. I can’t believe you’re Soonyoung’s man in waiting now. You’re supposed to be in my corner - you’re supposed to help me egg his car if we break up.”

“Good thing you’re never going to break up, then,” Mingyu said, rolling his eyes as Wonwoo continued to kick his legs in the air in annoyance. “Look, you said it yourself. Soonyoung only insists when it means something. I think you should go.” Mingyu sat down on the bed, the mattress just barely shifting under the weight of him. “Besides, whenever he makes you do these things…” he continued. “I mean, it’s not just the roller coaster thing, but all of it. We make the same joke every time, that you’ve done worse, but… honestly, Wonwoo, I’ve never seen you have more fun. Kicking and screaming all the way there, but then Soonyoung shows you this new, amazing thing and you come back with your eyes all lit up like a 5 year old at Lotte World.”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo allowed. “Yes, yeah, it’s fun, I mean… Everything with him is fun.”

“So,” Mingyu said. “Maybe this will be fun too.”

Wonwoo didn’t say anything, just sat up and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Right on cue, it rang, Soonyoung’s name popping up on the screen with an assortment of heart and star emojis (Mingyu’s doing, of course. If he’d left it up to Wonwoo, it would still say _coffee shop boy_ ). Mingyu smiled at Wonwoo again, in that way that said he could anticipate Wonwoo’s answer even before it floated up to his consciousness. He didn’t need the list to know that Wonwoo could never truly turn down a chance at a new adventure with Soonyoung. Wonwoo steeled himself, whispered a silent prayer to the gods of amusements parks, whomsoever they may be, and answered.

✥

“You’re a dead man, Kwon Soonyoung,” Wonwoo said to himself through his chattering teeth. He pulled his arms out of the sleeves of his coat, preferring to wrap them around himself like a makeshift cocoon defending him from the cutting winter winds. Soonyoung was running late - as per usual - and Wonwoo was far from glad to have the time to himself. Five minutes into standing outside the amusement park had left him with a slow-churning anxiety as he contemplated the mammoth task ahead. As the cold seeped into him despite his best efforts. Wonwoo grumbled to himself. His breath formed little clouds in the January air like little cirrus wisps come down to earth. They carried in them whispered dead men’s tales, one each for Mingyu and Soonyoung as Wonwoo imagined himself tying their limbs into makeshift sailor’s knots as a retaliation (he mostly pictured Mingyu, of course, not just because he could never harm a hair on Soonyoung’s head but also because Mingyu’s behemoth limbs were asking to be twisted into pretzels even on his best days). Wonwoo pondered this all for a moment more, pausing only when he noticed the black car pulling up to the curb, it’s door already cracked open before the driver had fully stopped. 

Soonyoung jumped out as the taxi finally rolled to a stop, two feet springing forward and the rest of his body following suit. He winced as he heard the driver’s voice calling out, yelling something about ‘car safety’ and ‘basic common sense’. Soonyoung tilted his head in assent, apologizing with a small smile before he gently shut the door and spun back towards Wonwoo. In truth, any annoyance Wonwoo had bubbling in him fizzled out when Soonyoung caught his eye and beamed at him. Lateness and wintry chill be damned, that twinkle in Soonyoung’s eyes sent warmth shooting through his veins faster than a mug of mulled wine at a Christmas market. Soonyoung, hands hidden in the too-long sleeves of his coat and one end of his long scarf flapping in the air behind him, came barreling towards Wonwoo with arms outstretched. Wonwoo braced for impact - _oof_ \- and there he was with Soonyoung’s face burrowing into his chest and two arms wrapping around him in a bear hug. 

“Hi,” Soonyoung mumbled into the smoke gray wool of Wonwoo’s coat.

“Hey,” Wonwoo laughed, returning Soonyoung’s hug as best he could with his arms still buried in the body of his coat. “You’re late.”

Soonyoung pulled his face out of Wonwoo’s chest and tilted his head up. He frowned, letting his lower lip jut out into a pout. “I’m sorry. The driver got lost… technically not my fault.”

“Likely story,” Wonwoo replied in mock anger. “I should’ve let myself freeze out here. That would’ve showed you.”

“Hey, don’t joke,” Soonyoung whined. “Don’t punish me for KakaoTaxi’s sins.” Wonwoo said nothing in response and Soonyoung made a sound of discontent at his continued silence. “Won _woo_ ,” he said, stretching out his name. “Don’t joke. What would I have done if you’d really frozen out here? I could never forgive myself.”

“Then perish,” Wonwoo said and Soonyoung pulled his arms away so that he could swat at Wonwoo’s chest. 

“God, anyway,” he said. He really frowned then, his brows pulling together as a crease formed in his forehead. “You had to wait long, right? You looked all spaced out when I got here. What were you thinking about?”

“Not too long, really,” Wonwoo said. He pushed his arms through his coat sleeves and pulled Soonyoung back into a hug, only partially to leech some warmth from his frame, and balanced his chin on Soonyoung’s shoulder. “I was just thinking, Mingyu’s so tall and lean, I could probably tie his limbs into knots like a giant Bavarian pretzel. What do you think?”

“Couldn’t he do the same to you?” Soonyoung scoffed. It was Wonwoo’s turn to frown then, and he removed himself from Soonyoung for half a second before lurching forward to grab two fistfuls of Soonyoung’s coat. 

“Hey,” Wonwoo said, narrowing his eyes menacingly. “Don’t get any ideas. You’re already on thin fucking ice Kwon Soonyoung.” 

Soonyoung laughed, placing his hands on Wonwoo’s cheeks and squishing them together so that Wonwoo’s lips puffed out. “You’re so scary,” he said, shaking Wonwoo’s head back and forth. “It’s adorable. Come on, let’s head inside. The coaster’s in the main mall complex.”

“Oh thank God, something to look forward to,” Wonwoo groaned. 

Soonyoung giggled as he grabbed Wonwoo’s hand and dragged him towards the entrance for the indoor park. The gates loomed over them, the neon backlighting looking dusty pink against the still-blue backdrop of the sky. The sun was still sinking rapidly and taking the last vestiges of protection against the windchill. Wonwoo was grateful for this particular ride being part of the indoor park, despite the ordeal of sitting through several minutes of jettisoned metal making its way through gravity defying loops lingering in the back of his mind.

After fifteen minutes, two freshly procured night passes, and some uncharacteristic skipping on Soonyoung’s part, they finally found themselves in front of the coaster of Soonyoung’s wildest dreams and Wonwoo’s most unexpected nightmares. Soonyoung was quick to call this an exaggeration when Wonwoo said as much out loud - most of the coaster wasn’t even visible from the queue and that which was seemed harmless enough. In fact, the coaster was quite literally more of an impromptu Mary Poppins set tour with two loops set into the middle of a picturesque Edwardian house (English garden and twirling umbrellas galore) and many of those riders who still remained in line were likely a decade younger than Wonwoo and Soonyoung. Wonwoo focused on the warm lights twinkling inside the ride, the joyful laughter sounding from those who were making the current rounds, and on Soonyoung’s hand grasping his own with an encouraging squeeze. He turned and smiled at Soonyoung’s excited face, letting that feeling of Soonyoung tracing patterns into his palm with his thumb push the remnants of his apprehension away.

In the end, Wonwoo’s anxiety lasted all of five seconds on the ride itself. It didn’t move too fast or too high up aside from the loops and Soonyoung was cheering beside him the whole time, euphoric and boyish and distracting enough that at some point Wonwoo realized he was also having fun. When they tumbled out of their seats at the end, Wonwoo plopped two hands on Soonyoung’s shoulders with a jubilant laugh of his own. 

“Okay,” he said. “It was pretty cool.”

“I told you!” Soonyoung yelled back pumping a fist into the air victoriously. “Have I ever led you astray?”

“Don’t make me bring up Joshgate again,” Wonwoo cautioned, letting himself be steered out a side door to the outdoor park. “Oh God, Soonie, it’s gonna be even colder out now.”

“I’ll keep you warm,” Soonyoung said, wiggling his eyebrows at Wonwoo with a playful smirk. It grew wider into a full out grin when Wonwoo rolled his eyes. They stumbled out into the plaza. Under the cover of nightfall, everything was awash in yellow-hued lights from the food vendors and winter market stalls pinpricked along the pavilion. Soonyoung and Wonwoo made their way down the path until the stalls fell away along with most of the crowd. A few couples littered the park grounds around them and the electric lamps mixed with the moon to cast everything into a silvery light. Wonwoo looked around as they walked at the pearlescent glow around them, the twinkling gold behind them, and the starlight reflected in Soonyoung’s eyes as he watched him with a contented quietness. Wonwoo gazed skyward in time to feel something wet drop onto his cheek. White flakes floated down around them and Wonwoo looked back to Soonyoung with a sort of fragile innocence in his smile.

“It’s snowing,” he said and Soonyoung smiled back, shifting towards Wonwoo so that they were practically hip to hip as they walked further. Wonwoo heard Soonyoung breathe in deeply as he swung his arm forward, taking Wonwoo’s hand with him. “You’re awfully quiet all of a sudden.”

“I’m just taking it in,” Soonyoung said. “I’m glad you had fun.”

“I always do,” Wonwoo whispered, turning his gaze to the cobblestones so he could watch their steps advancing in time with each other. “Thank you.” Soonyoung _tsk_ -ed back at him, waving away his thanks. “No, really, I always have fun with you. But…”

“But?”

“Well,” Wonwoo began. “I hope you had fun too. You… well you really wanted to come tonight. I guess I just wondered why you wanted to see this ride so badly.”

“I did,” Soonyoung said. “I did have fun. I’m sorry for pestering you before. It’s just - well, I figured you wouldn’t do something like this if I didn’t drag you out to do it.”

“Ride a roller coaster?” Wonwoo laughed. Soonyoung laughed back in agreement.

“Well, you know. High speeds and heights and no escape,” Soonyoung said. Then he sang, “These are a few of your _least_ favorite things.”

“I thought they were,” Wonwoo said, reaching over to pinch at Soonyoung’s cheeks for a moment. “But they can be entertaining, apparently.”

“You know, a lot of the things that you think are scary or tiresome end up being pretty fun.”

“Alright, alright,” Wonwoo sighed. “You’re right. I guess I need you to drag me out to places or else I just revert to a grumpy old recluse.”

“Well maybe,” Soonyoung began, and he seemed all too serious as he looked at Wonwoo then. “Those things that intimidate you at first… maybe one day you’ll try them even if I’m not there to make you do it?”

Wonwoo glanced sideways at Soonyoung, taking in the worried glint in the boy’s eyes, the way he chewed on his lower lip after he spoke. “Okay,” Wonwoo said slowly. “What’s eating at you?”

“Wonwoo…”

“No, really. I mean Mingyu told me earlier that you really wanted me to come out tonight. Did you ask him to convince me, too?”

“I did,” Soonyoung answered.

“Well… I… Why? What was so important tonight? And I know it’s not just about you wanting to try this ride.

“Wonwoo,” Soonyoung whispered. The wind was back, blowing flurries around them in jagged spirals. “I think I’m just hoping you’ll still - I don’t know - try new things? Do things that scare you? Even if… if I’m not around so much.”

“Soonyoung,” Wonwoo said, inching closer so they could see each other better. The snow was falling down in oversized chunks of white, collecting on Wonwoo’s lashes so Soonyoung looked blurry until he blinked. “Why would you be around less?”

Soonyoung slowed to a stop, and Wonwoo was further away for a moment with just the tips of their fingers grasping at each other until they were both paused. In the flurries and the silver light, it was like they were stopped in time, in some late-season snow globe. Soonyoung opened his mouth once, seemed to think better of it when he looked down at the ground. Then he took one step closer to Wonwoo, bringing his hands up so they rested on Wonwoo’s chest. 

“You know how I was… well, I was looking for fellowships,” he began. “Dance fellowships, so I could learn something new before I looked into MFA programs.”

“Yes, yeah, of course,” Wonwoo said. He ignored the feeling of confusion tickling the back of his throat, hoped he sounded more sure in his response.

“Well, I… I did end up applying to the ones we talked about but… there was the one, the long shot. We joked about it, I never thought I could - I could -“ Soonyoung broke off, looking up into Wonwoo’s eyes. His expression wavered, somewhere halfway between delayed shock and - Wonwoo realized with a jolt - worry. Wonwoo reached out automatically, placing his palms on either side of Soonyoung’s face and running one thumb along the boy’s jaw. He smiled and Soonyoung returned his expression tentatively. “Wonwoo,” he continued. “Wonwoo, I got into the fellowship at Juilliard.”

“Oh my God,” Wonwoo replied. It was his turn to feel shock inch through him, a wave of pins and needles slowly washing through his bloodstream. “Soonyoung, that’s amazing. That’s - _oh my God_.”

“I know,” Soonyoung laughed as Wonwoo squished his cheeks almost unconsciously. He seemed to relax slightly in the face of Wonwoo’s excitement, but something in his expression still looked on edge. “I know, I can’t believe it. I just… I wanted to talk to you first, before I told them anything?”

“Wh - oh. Oh,” Wonwoo said as the initial elation ebbed out slightly. “Oh it’s… Juilliard. Wow. That is far.”

“It is,” Soonyoung whispered. “It’s, um. It’s 11,000 kilometers. Fourteen hours.”

“Fuck,” Wonwoo huffed out. “That’s far.”

“Wonwoo.”

“I - yes.”

“Please say something other than ‘that’s far’,” Soonyoung pleaded. Wonwoo leaned forward so his forehead pressed against Soonyoung’s, hands running soothing strokes into bleached blonde locks.

“Soonyoung,” he said. “You have to take it.”

“What?”

“You have to take the fellowship,” Wonwoo said, keeping his voice as steady as he could.

“Wonwoo, i-it’s all the way across the world,” Soonyoung chittered. Snow was collecting on their shoulders, catching in their hair, and belatedly Wonwoo wondered if this was the best place for them to have this conversation. It was too late either way, with them in the thick of it as the flurries turned more urgent.

“This is your dream,” Wonwoo said. “Soonyoung, it’s your dream. You dream fellowship and your dream school in your dream city.”

“I know but,” Soonyoung started, hands clutching almost desperately at Wonwoo’s coat. “Wonwoo, I’m… I’m scared.”

“Hey,” Wonwoo whispered softly. “That’s not a bad thing, right? Being scared, it just means there’s something there that you could learn to love. Isn’t that what you help me do all the time? Soonyoung, you have to try. You know what a fellowship there could do for your career.”

Soonyoung nodded slowly, moving his arms down so that he was practically leaning on Wonwoo for support. “It would be six months,” he said. “Well, a Summer intensive program first, and then in total six months for the fellowship and then… and then we’d see, after that.”

“Okay,” Wonwoo replied. Soonyoung’s eyes searched his own for something. Wonwoo held his gaze. “Soonyoung, it’s okay.”

“You’re not mad?” Soonyoung asked so quietly his voice could have been a snowflake drifting by unseen.

“No,” Wonwoo answered. “Please, I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Soonyoung whispered back. Silence fell for a brief moment so that the only sound between them was the whistling of the wind, the snow drifting by them. Somehow they’d been deserted there, in that corner of the park as snow began to build up around them. Soonyoung bit his lip once more, then looked to him with pupils blown wide. “Wonwoo… will we -“

“We will,” Wonwoo said. He didn’t need Soonyoung to ask, didn’t need a moment to consider. His voice sounded sure as it ever had and Soonyoung seemed to hear this, if the relief in his expression was anything to go by. “I can do six months. I could do six years, if you asked. However long you need, however far you need to go, however many 14 hour flights we need to take… we’ll be okay.”

“We’ll be just fine,” Soonyoung agreed. He stared back at Wonwoo, snow glittering in his lashes and in his hair and melting against his skin so that everything glistened like glass. A fresh flake landed on his lips, pink from the cold, and Wonwoo chased after it, after the softness of Soonyoung’s mouth against his own. Soonyoung kissed him back, one hand twining in Wonwoo’s hair, only pulling apart when snow cascaded down, shaken loose somewhere between hands and crystallized tufts of hair, into Wonwoo’s coat so that he jumped from the cold. They laughed as Wonwoo pulled them back towards shelter. 

Later as Wonwoo dropped Soonyoung off outside his apartment, their shared taxi idling behind them, he pulled Soonyoung close to him once more. “I’ll ride as many roller coasters as you want me to, even when you’re 11,000 kilometers away,” Wonwoo said. Soonyoung hid his smile in Wonwoo’s shoulder in response. Wonwoo snuck one hand under Soonyoung’s chin, tilted his face back up so he could place another kiss against his waiting lips, ignored the stray nervous thought in the back of his mind asking him how many moments like these they had left. 

“Think of me when you do?” Soonyoung asked against his lips. He pulled back for half a second, then leaned in for another peck. “Or when you try anything new or scary. Or when you get into another fight with Mingyu. Or when -“

“Always,” Wonwoo replied. Soonyoung smiled and kissed him again.

✥

Wonwoo leaned one hand onto the wall of the entryway, kicking off slush-soaked boots and shaking stray clumps of snow from his hair. He could hear a ruckus in the living room and as expected, when he turned the corner he saw Minghao first, tossing burnt popcorn across the room from his spot on Wonwoo’s armchair. Mingyu, for his part, hung upside-down on the opposite couch, mouth open wide as he tried to catch flying kernels. When he spotted Wonwoo, he half fell onto the floor, toppling out of his precarious position with a resounding thud. 

“Hey guys,” Wonwoo said miserably. Minghao waved at him, trying to hide the popcorn bag from view as if that would reverse Wonwoo’s witnessing them throwing grease-laden projectiles across the room. Mingyu caught Wonwoo’s eye from his new spot on the ground, frowning back at his quiet tone.

“Uh, how was the ride?” Mingyu asked unsurely. 

“Fine,” Wonwoo said. “It was fine. It was really fun actually.”

“Oh!” Mingyu said. “That’s good. You know, when Soonyoung insisted on getting you to go tonight, I figured he’d want to talk to you about more than the ride, but…”

“Oh, yeah,” Wonwoo continued. “Well… Soonyoung’s moving to New York.”

Silence fell over them, Minghao glancing between Mingyu and Wonwoo with eyes wide until Mingyu sat up abruptly. 

“Only for six months,” Wonwoo continued, the words tumbling out of him. “But he wanted to talk to me, so… Anyway, it’s really great actually. He’s got a fellowship at Juilliard.”

“That is great,” Mingyu said, genuine appreciation flashing through his expression as Minghao muttered his agreement. “That’s really great. Are you… okay, though?” 

Wonwoo didn’t answer at first, just walked over to the coffee table and picked up his list. He’d tossed it there on his way out, knowing Mingyu would leave it be until he returned. He tugged out of one the wicker baskets they kept stowed beneath the table top, fished around until he found a pen. He sat down on the couch and Mingyu clambered up after him, pressing into Wonwoo’s side like always. Wonwoo stared at the list in his hands, then placed it back down and pressed the tip of his pen into the crinkled sheet, ink flowing out fast and sure. “I mean, it’s a little scary, a little intimidating even,” Wonwoo answered. “But when has that stopped us before? It just means we care… it just means this is something we would do for each other.”

Minghao was back to staring at the both of them unsurely, but soon an encouraging smile spread across his face and Wonwoo found himself returning it. He looked over at Mingyu then, with his lips turned up into the beginnings of a smile. Mingyu finished the motion on his own face until they were all grinning at each other.

“I am okay,” Wonwoo said. “Really.”

✥

    8 _. Wait for him._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by a request for a kiss in the snow ~~~
> 
> major thanks to the gc for helping me brainstorm, esp to soni <333 (sorry for turning juilliard into a tool for destruction)
> 
> And once again, I'm really trying to post more regularly this year! the new semester starts soon but hopefully I'll have another full-length piece up before then...
> 
> come talk to me! you can find me on twitter @noodlesehun :)


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